Sunday, December 30, 2012


Do you realize there are times in life that we lost interests with something that we usually love or like doing it. We don't mean to be like that, but one thing to another, it just the way it is. 

For example, it's almost already new year, I remember how I was really into waiting it a few years before. Because new year only comes once a year and absolutely because in a count of days after new year I'll be another years older. (January, 5th, Hehehe Happy Birthday Jess.) I could go to the market and pick every fireworks and squib I like. Go around the city, visit my big family, blow a trumpet, burn the squib with my brother and sister and the most wonderful moment is watching fireworks on the night sky. I enjoy every moment all the way it goes. I used to stay up late against boring time and sleepy eyes just because I don't wanna miss new year's eve celebrations. But now I think I have lost my interest in it. Well, not all, just some part of it.
 Another example is aerobics, I usually did aerobics at leasts twice a month, hehe. Actually I learnt about aerobics when I was on my last year at elementary school but it has becomes my routines since junior high school years and I still love doin' it till my second year at senior high school I guess. To me, aerobics is not always about gymnastic movements but more about health. Aerobics is the only kind of sports that I can do every time I want and I have an aerobics dvd from my pal. After my second year at high school over, I lost my appetite in it. Besides that, an accident that broke my heart that day(about aerobics groups for aerobics practice) + my aerobics dvd wasn't able to used anymore makes this situations more bad. Bad, but still, when I see aerobics movements, I do still have the love for it, just not as big as before. Another kind of interest-losing, perhaps.

Well, it just two examples of what happening to me in the current of time. It makes me realize that we do relly lost interests for a few things in life. I lost my interests for almost all holidays. Yap I know holidays are time to relaxing our minds and body, but only if it filled by pleasing activity of course. And the fact, as I grow up, my holidays kebanyakan boringnya, mpas!. Remember when we were little, we're eager and got very enthusiast about it. How about now? Not really into it? We don't feel those holiday spirit, do we? Is it because all the routinity so- called socializing, or work? Is it normal because we're growing up? Or are those things are just not really interesting anymore?
Well again, some people find new things that interests their life. And that's good, lose some and get some. But most important of all, we are the one who choose to lose interests in all of 'em. We got bored of all those things we used to love. We always find reason to leave them behind. From small reasons to the big ones. And sometimes I kinda missing all those things.

  • I never lost interest in swimming.
  • I never lost interest of travelling. I hope someday I could go to the top of a mountain, again.
  • I never lost interest in knowing something new.
  • I never lost interest of kepo-ing all about "Him"
"No one could loses anything because no one really owns anything."

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Awalnya dari aku.

Payah. Ini baru awal dan ini pertempuran pertamaku. Aku sudah kalah dan semakin menjadi pecundang. Bukan terhadap lawanku di sana tetapi lebih kepada diriku sendiri. Semua karena emosi yang berlebihan dan seharusnya tidak perlu. Sekarang, hal yang harus bisa kulakukan adalah belajar menerima dan melepaskan segalanya dengan sepenuh hati. Bahkan ketika aku menganggap diriku ini lemah, payah dan tak lebih dari seorang pecundang, adakah teman yang bisa membuatku kembali tersenyum, berdiri dan membenarkan keslahanku? Mengajari aku bagaimana cara untuk menjadi seorang yang tegar dan ikhlas?

I do really need a hug right now. A huge, long, tight and a warm one :(

Tuesday, December 18, 2012


I am home, just now. And I hate hating this hate feeling. I don't want to pour my heart with bad feelings and other negative things. I do want to throw every lil bad in me. This situation keeps pressing me. No one cares about what grows inside me. I am fed-up. If only I could go to somewhere :(
That guy on GO, is so disgusting as always, and today he is thousand times more disgusting than usually. I was doing my test, and I hate it when he take a sit right besides me and keep disturbing me by trying to make convo with me. He keeps talking with iewh voice. Crap! Why must me? Why don't he sit on another chairs. so many empty chairs in that class. Bad luck.
When I got home, I feel like want to explode. My mom told me about where the college that inevitably I couldn't say no. I am sick. Conversation about college always end up with my heart tore.
All I just wanna say is I hate my day. My day just lil by lil becomes worse and worse and I don't know whether it will stops either at worst point or better point.

No handphone, still.

It’s been a year, without handphone. After December, 2011, I lost my phone. My 3rd. Sometimes, I hate myself and don’t get why I could be this clumsy. 2012 already almost touch the finish line. A year, and I haven’t had new phone yet. Huh yasudahlah. Ikhlas sajalah.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Let it be,

"He's just too kind, even more than you know. Perhaps Allah wants him to be with a gooood girl, and now I'm still not good enough for him, so here I am holding a jar of hopes. If he likes another girl, maybe it's called karma. Suck, it really hurts but I deserve it. I had done very bad things to him, even hurt that I feel right now means nothing."

Sunday, September 23, 2012


Kerja kelompok yang berlih fungsi jadi acara narsis. Selalu. Ini serius, Kimia tentang sel volta dan kerabatnya itu, belom sama sekali dipelajarin dan mencoba melajarin sendiri itu berujung ke jalan buntu. Untung saja punya teman satu kelompok yang ngerti ya :')
Oh iya.. rambut gue baru. Bosan dengan rambut lama. dan ini foto pertama dengan rambut bru :-D

Saturday, September 22, 2012

These are hard times for dreamer

Motivation is the most important thing needed rightnow. Dreams oh dreams. Too many dreams I want to hold. But we all are know its not as easy a it said. Butuh kerja keras tingkat tekanan dasar laut terdalam untuk bisa ada di titik itu. Berapa ratus juta orang di Indonesia yang lagi ada di posisi gue?  Berapa ratus juta orang yang akan jadi saingan gue? Gue gak mau cuma bilang WOW tapi ngilangin patogen yang menimbulkan laziness itu susah bro. Jadi sekarang melaksanakan things to do list itu harus jadi prioritas nanti dreams bakal jadi award-nya insyaAllah. Gue gak mau cuma jadi dreamer. Setidaknya, sukses di futurelife cukuplah. Lagipula ada hal lain disamping sekedar jadi dream catcher yang nyemangatin gue, semoga benar semua mimpi itu :')

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Note: Things to do ✓

♣  Get closer to Allah.
  More thankful.
  Striving for good mark.
  Remove game online addiction syndrome.
♣  Manage feelings