Awalnya dari aku.

Payah. Ini baru awal dan ini pertempuran pertamaku. Aku sudah kalah dan semakin menjadi pecundang. Bukan terhadap lawanku di sana tetapi lebih kepada diriku sendiri. Semua karena emosi yang berlebihan dan seharusnya tidak perlu. Sekarang, hal yang harus bisa kulakukan adalah belajar menerima dan melepaskan segalanya dengan sepenuh hati. Bahkan ketika aku menganggap diriku ini lemah, payah dan tak lebih dari seorang pecundang, adakah teman yang bisa membuatku kembali tersenyum, berdiri dan membenarkan keslahanku? Mengajari aku bagaimana cara untuk menjadi seorang yang tegar dan ikhlas?

I do really need a hug right now. A huge, long, tight and a warm one :(

Let it be,

"He's just too kind, even more than you know. Perhaps Allah wants him to be with a gooood girl, and now I'm still not good enough for him, so here I am holding a jar of hopes. If he likes another girl, maybe it's called karma. Suck, it really hurts but I deserve it. I had done very bad things to him, even hurt that I feel right now means nothing."

These are hard times for dreamer

Motivation is the most important thing needed rightnow. Dreams oh dreams. Too many dreams I want to hold. But we all are know its not as easy a it said. Butuh kerja keras tingkat tekanan dasar laut terdalam untuk bisa ada di titik itu. Berapa ratus juta orang di Indonesia yang lagi ada di posisi gue?  Berapa ratus juta orang yang akan jadi saingan gue? Gue gak mau cuma bilang WOW tapi ngilangin patogen yang menimbulkan laziness itu susah bro. Jadi sekarang melaksanakan things to do list itu harus jadi prioritas nanti dreams bakal jadi award-nya insyaAllah. Gue gak mau cuma jadi dreamer. Setidaknya, sukses di futurelife cukuplah. Lagipula ada hal lain disamping sekedar jadi dream catcher yang nyemangatin gue, semoga benar semua mimpi itu :')

I Hate Indonesian Police

My mom is about to buy pulse at pulse counter when a woman next to her looks so confused and on hurry. That women buys 5 electric of pulses, 100thousand rupiah for each pulse. Then she received a call and looks so panic while she answer questions from someone trough the phone. Curiousity grows in my mom mind, my mom asks that woman..
Mom : "Banyak amat bu beli pulsanya?"
Woman : "Iya bu, adik saya abis nabrak orang, pedahal udah ngebiayain biaya pengobatan orang yang ditabrak, tapi adik saya ditahan terus polisinya minta dibeliin pulsa seratus ribu, mana 5 orang polisinya"
Tragis nasib ibu itu. Brengsek polisi itu.

crap.

being in fight with you is one of things that makes me feel crap rightnow. keep silent of each other. stop communication while deep inside I am madly missing you. today, I still cant remove this crap feeling eventho' I've had tons of fun with my old friends. you should've known that you are the only drug of all the mess in me. I can't stand this damnass problem any longer, get me the hell out of this!

Ja. Nu. A. Ry.

HELLO BLOGAH! long time I didn't check u. btw.. I just spent my time front of my lovely laptop, surfing interesting sites then peeking on you. today's January 31, 2012. so many things I couldn't tell to people around but too unmild if I save it by myself. well, I decided to throw those things away on u bloga!

#1st having new year eve with my big family. watching coloured & smoky sky by the fireworks, was so damn cool nah.

#2nd I'd like to say 'Bye January 2012' you gave me real 16. I love 5th January. and the happiest things on this month is I have my jebew. lofu ge. and also my dumblxs and 34! LOVUALLGUYS

this is what 34&FRIENDS has done to my motorcycle at school:''

#3rd H** ever had a problem with her boyfie (now, her ex), at that time, her boyfie leave her alone while he plays game, he didn't even try to call her, all day long, he forgot about his girl, game dominating his minds.  mungkin terdengar lebay tapi ya begitulah kurang lebih. ini juga yang gue rasain walau beda tapi mirip. doi lupa sama gue karna main game walau gak nyampe seharian aja itu pedih sob rasanya.. sekarang gue ngerti. pantes waktu itu H** galau, pantes....

it just a little bout how awesome January 2012 was 4me!

2012 getting closer.

yah. cant stop imagining. what will happens on 2010. cant waittttttt
2011. so many things happened. live. love. etc. indeed, unforgetable.
#long distance relationship. ends
#having 3weeks relationship
#back to my ex
#lost my phone (Ive wasted 2,5million rupiahs only for 2months)-just like what my mom said- :''
#hurting someone's heart
#etc

Bye.

Maybe we should stop seeing each other

Break all the contact

and become complete strangers 

December, 1st 2011, our relationship ends.

White Rose ✿

am I the only one who can't be disturbed when surfing the internet? I've a little story.. kinda sweet I think. :*)
do you ever feel like you're flying on the sky? flying high up through the atmosphere? I just feel it all righnow I'm typing this while a big big super big(I think) smile tugging on my face. HAHAHA b'cos of someone who made me feel like I'm special (even I dunno if Im really special for him or not).
the way he made me feel like this is sooooo preeeety cute.

I was in front of my laptop, surfing internet, watching films, doing tasks. and as usual, I forgot about my hp.then I saw the red light/LED blink-ing on my phone. asap I check my bbm chat list. I saw his name on my screen with "ping!!!" as his chat that he had sent to me. I opened his chat and aaaa got surprised! shocked!

-jesss. I was right on the side of your home.- 

hoah what the heaven! is it a joke? aaaa hurriedly I took a key gate of my home and asaply unlock-ing the gate. I saw nothing-_-" he has gone? really? I took a look to the right first and got nothing! then, when I took a look to the left..... TADAAAAAAA! I saw him standing right beside his motorcycle. and he took a walk to me. wahaaaa of course I got nervous. then he gave me a white rose.
white rose! AAAAh melted. then he just said "I gotta go home rightnow". Im speeeeeechlesss then he gone.

*I met him, 30mins after he said that he was right on the side of my home. thats means that he had been waiting for 30mins* 

SUXXXXX!

do you ever hear a song then your heart randomly whisper:

 "omfg,that song really really so fvkin damn what I feel rightnow" or "ohGod... he must hear this song&realize, this song lyric is totally 4him" 

aaaaaaargh!! this shit felling hits me! drowning me down to the strange feeling. dunno what 2do&dont understand what Ive done :( now, its always happens whenever I hear a song from BP&F2B "em htiw ton" -@#%?!(*$-

Random 23 :>

I know.yap fix this tweet..... supposed to me. tapi buat gua atau pun bukan bodo amat deh. gua cuma mau ngasih apa ya, hm mungkin tanggapan kali ya.

"Amin, iya ge iya, gua selalu ngedoain lo kok. semoga lo jadi orang yang sukses ya kelak, InsyaAllah jauh lebih sukses, jadi apa yang lo mau, dan punya pendamping hidup yang lebih-lebih deh dari wanita wanita yang pernah masuk di kehidupan lo saat ini. sukses ya. 

keep spirit. jangan lupa ikhtiar ya ge.

iya mungkin gua nyesek kalau saat dimana lo lebih sukses itu tiba, nyesek banget ya.

tapi gua percaya kok, apa yang terjadi sama gua itu emang udah takdirnya kaya gitu.

gua harus ikhlas lah sama apa yang terjadi sama gua

soal nyesek.... itu resiko, setiap pilihan pasti ada resikonya"

actually... its not a matter. apakah nanti cowo yang gua pilih itu sukses atau engga. ya even.. succesfulman is a priority of my choice. but besides that, yang paling gua fikirin cuma 'myself'. gue harus sukses nantinya.

thanks

L-O-S-T

these feelings.. 

regrets-jealousy-heartache

mixed into one in my heart

I miss you, I lost you

yap. but I cant do anything

its all my fault, I know right what's my fault

I dont expect anything and I also dont want anything

it reasonable, if you hate me or dont want to know me anymore

I was wrong, I played with your love

then leave you for bad reason

I do wanna forget you but everythings around me reminds me abt you

too many memories abt us

*********

I dont care if you still like me or not

I dont care if you still love me or not

I dont care if you still want to be with me or not

I also dont care wether you care abt this or not!

I just want to throw away what I feel rytnow'

bcoz this's the only way to makes me feel better when no one can

but.. its my way..

maybe I was destined for this :''')

how does it feel to know I still want you?

move on!

semuanya berubah. ya semuanya emang seharusnya berubah. dan gua juga gak bisa terus-terusan diem dan gak ngelakuin perubahan apapun disaat semua yang ada di hidup gua berubah. udah saatnya gua maju. udah saatnya gua berfikir untuk masa depan. udah cukup banyak orang meragukan. udah cukup banyak orang meremehkan. hidup ini harus mengalir bro! gak selamanya gua dibawah terus cuma karena hal-hal yang seharusnya gak gua pikirin. saat ini, banyak hal yang harus dibenahi. udah cukup ya main-mainnya. sekarang udah masuk tahap yang lebih serius lagi.

galau syndrome

 do you know pain? do you know hurts? ini yang lagi gue rasain! please hilangin semua rasa itu ya Allah :(

With Pain & Sadness

Jessy Widyanti